Honestly, I love blogging. I really do. however, I’m incredibly inconsistent and sometimes I write and sometimes I’m too busy to even breathe. Today, though, the opportunity has arisen. We’ll see if I can keep it going.
So, it’s Valentine’s day. Woohoo!!! I really, truly enjoy this particular day of the year… a day purely for the purpose of expressing our love for other people. Today is an unselfish day, turning around the norm of American life and focusing us once more on how blessed we are to have all of the amazing people in our lives that we take for granted every day. Being in high school there is always the awkwardness of walking through the halls and noting that other girls are carrying stuffed animals, flowers, and candy. The thing is, it doesn’t make me feel lonely anymore. My dad has always been my valentine… every year he gets my sister and I chocolates and we go to dinner as a family. It’s a really great way to learn how you should be treated and it’s also very nice to know how much your family cares about you.
The one thing that makes me really sad about Valentine’s day is what it does to other people- particularly girls- at my school. I have so many friends that are impacted negatively by this holiday because of where they are finding their worth. Some of them pretend they are okay and cover it up with their makeup. Others have anti-valentine’s day parties to avoid the feelings of inadequacy. There is one wish that I have this Valentine’s day. I wish that I could speak right to their hearts and let them know that they don’t need a boyfriend or nice gift to be worth something. Just by being themselves they are worth so much. God created them to be someone special and unique, and they are complete in Him, not needing anything else. Maybe we can turn this around. Maybe we can help them to see that even without the boy, the makeup, the cute dress, perfect grades… They are good enough. Love is for everyone.
Happy Valentine’s day- stay loving.
Right now, I’m overjoyed for two people that I love dearly who were joined today in marriage. Before the ceremony they showed us a beautiful video, after which no one could stop smiling. They talked about how they had met, what they meant to each other, and the proposal. Looking forward into my future, I can only hope to have a relationship with my husband as deep, personal, loving, honest, and Christ-centered as theirs. Today they embark on a wonderful, exciting journey together that will last for the rest of their lives. It just leaves me wondering… What do God’s plans hold for me?
I’m pretty sure that Disney has firmly instilled into the minds of most American girls that their life will be complete if they achieve their own “Prince Charming” and ride off into the sunset on a white stallion wearing a 2-carat stone on their left hand. Don’t get me wrong- I’m a hopeless romantic- but we’re truly setting ourselves up for failure. The only thing that can truly satisfy any desire we may have is a relationship with Jesus Christ, and knowing that He is all we really need. Today He’s asking “Am I enough for you?” I know that He is, that God will meet my every need, but I still feel that desire for a fairy tale ending. Once again I’m impatient for whatever I think might be in store for me. I feel a need for companionship with someone who I’m made to be with. Always longing, waiting for the day when I won’t feel quite so lonely. But… “Am I enough for you?”
It’s time to search for completion and satisfaction in God. I know I can’t possibly be ready to share life with someone else in the way that I want when I don’t even understand all of myself. God holds all the answers. Life is a quest for falling deeper in love with Him. Not only does a new couple start a new life today, but because of their shared wisdom a journey of my own begins. Seeking God with all of my heart and knowing that He is enough for me now, and for all of eternity. “I wan’t to fall in love with you.”
In the past few years, I have become infatuated with just getting in the car and going. Mom’s going to the grocery store? I wanna go! Dad is running errands? Take me with you! I can’t wait for graduation because I’m hoping to take a massive road trip that summer with some of my best friends. Date ideas? Make a playlist of your favorite songs, pack a lunch, and drive to a lake a couple of hours away for a picnic. Any which way you look at it, there are fun advantages to being in the car. For me, it’s mainly relaxation and music. But that’s not all folks!
Every morning for the last two years I have had an hour long bus ride to get to school in the morning. At first, I would talk to people, then I began to sleep. After all, getting up at 5:45 am every weekday does start to have an impact. For Christmas two years ago I was given an iPod touch and I started listening to that on the bus ride every morning. It became a time to relax, enjoy nature, and think DEEPLY-and I mean deeply(*sarcasm*)- about life. In 8th grade, life consisted of schoolwork, a boy who I later learned was NOT who I thought he was, and occasionally some worthwhile thoughts about God and being a good friend. At some point I thought it might be kinda fun to write letters to this boy on my iPod. It wasn’t a big thing. I just would write a little something every once in a while. Most of the time I was angry with him… After 8th grade I realized how immature the whole situation was, and I deleted all the letters.
I’ve known Prince Charming as long as I can remember, but I really got to know him on a trip over the summer and that’s when I realized he was a pretty amazing Christian guy. We spent a lot of time together at the end of the summer, mostly at random church events, and when school started and I didn’t see him very often, I really missed talking to him. There had been some really awesome trust built over the summer, and not seeing him at school was weird. After about two weeks I started writing him a note on the morning bus ride every day. Most of them were happy. They were about the fun things we had done together, all the times he made me feel special. One day he started dating someone else… There were some sad, confused notes surrounding that. Some of my closer friends had seen the notes and at first thought it was cute. The it was determined “creepy, stalker-ish.” these descriptors make me laugh hysterically. The notes were just my own failure to communicate. I was settling with unshared thoughts. By February there were about 120 notes, all complete with a Dear ——, some with song lyrics, and many wishes for good days. Through some crazy technical stuff they all got deleted at this point. 6 months of letters-Kind of like a diary to someone else- we’re gone. I was upset. I cried a little, (a lot, actually…), but then decided to just start over. After about 5 more letters we went on another mission trip together to Mexico, and I learned there is nothing like true communication. ACR once again reminded me of how much fun it is to go riding around on white horses with Prince Charming… Haha just kidding! But really, it was a fantastic weekend and a true reminder of what friendship is supposed to be about. As Steve Hayes said, “A relationship is only as good as its communication.”
Next year I will be going to Tahoma High School (woot woot! Only 1 day of freshman year left…) I will miss the music, but… I will not have an hour long bus ride every morning, and I most definitely will not be writing notes. There is no fun in locking up secret messages in an electronic device when there is an amazing person out there to connect with. No bus rides next year?
BRING IT ON!
It seems all too obvious what I should be writing about right now. Today is my dad’s birthday, and tomorrow is Fathers’ day. Overall, it’s just his weekend!
Because it’s his birthday, I thought that I should probably do something special for him. When I woke up, he was already gone to church for the mens’ breakfast there. I asked Mom if we could go to the Maple Valley farmers’ market. She said she could drop me off if I had a friend there. “Mom, I meant as a family!” The answer was no, because Taylor has dance photos today. Then Dad came home… And sent me out to mow the lawn. That’s fine. I don’t really mind that, but he didn’t even sit down to relax. Instead, he went out and started taking care of some of the burn pile in our yard. I had also hoped to spend his birthday night with him, but apparently Mom and Dad are going on a double date tonight, and my sister and I are not part of the doubling couple.
So, what are we gonna do? I’m gonna call my grandma and get the recipe for his favorite banana cream pie with Nilla Wafers and Dad is gonna be one happy guy when he walks in to that.
Keeping it simple… Sometimes that’s what people appreciate the most!
I love you Daddy:)
Do you know what’s intensely difficult? Having to wait for something that you REALLY want and not knowing if you’ll ever get it. It’s hard to wait. It’s even harder thinking you may spend a ton of time waiting, get what you want… And then realize it’s not what you wanted. Recently this was a topic at my little sister’s youth group; being patient and waiting for God’s time. I’ve been doing that, but sometimes it gets really old.
Right now, there’s a guy that I really like. I’ve liked him for a while now… About 11 months. For a freshman in high school, that’s a pretty long time. But for me… Not really. It’s just different this time. There has never been someone else I’ve known whose company I’ve enjoyed as much. Even though I know I’m not ready for marriage, he is the person who I would want to spend the rest of my life with. Why would I settle for anything less? But waiting plays a big part in these things. I don’t feel like I’m even ready to date at this point. But I still want something. I want to be his best friend.
It’s been really difficult keeping my mouth shut this whole time since I have a tendency of spilling the beans to any boy after a certain period of time. When this happens, two things can occur.
#1- he likes you too and some sort of relationship culminates
#2- he does not and things become… Well, awkward and very painful
Unfortunately, every time I open my mouth, I end up with the #2 response, which, like #2, stinks. Yes, that pun was intended. No, I do not regularly use bathroom humor… Anyways, sometimes I get really impatient. I wake up in the morning and have such a huge sense of longing that I can’t contain myself and let the cat out of the bag. But that isn’t going to happen this time, no matter how long I have to wait. This time I’m waiting for His time. God knows when/if things are supposed to work out one way or the other, and I know he has my best interests in mind.
What do I do to keep my patience? I pray every night before I fall asleep. I pray for my future husband, and myself. I pray for my high school “Prince Charming” (oh the irony…) and his future wife. And then I pray for Prince Charming and I- that it would happen when God wants it, if God wants it, that I will be okay with his plan, and that our friendship will glorify him as long as it lasts. So far, things are going great. God really does know what he’s doing. We all just need to wait for His time.
P.S. If he’s Prince Charming, does that make me the damsel in distress?
Yesterday was a blast! It began with sleeping in… A miracle for me. Just to let you know, sleeping in for me meant going back to bed when I woke up at 7 and not getting out of bed until 9:30. Score. The rest of the day was far more manic. I was singing “Everything” by Michael Búble at my friend’s piano recital, so I had to get dressed up. This is not exactly my favorite thing to do, but I do love eyelet lace, so I survived. First, it was off to my 3rd cousin’s graduation party. We were there for about half an hour before we had to leave for the recital. Then, we went back for about another hour to enjoy our family. We discussed great things, and not so great things, like the man who ate someone’s face in Florida. This led to a story about a woman who crashed a car into her own house, cut up the family cat on the kitchen floor, then cut off her own nose and ate it. She said the voices told her to do it. We said her husband must have had a really bad day. Then it was off to a home group bar-b-que. I spent the majority of the night out by the campfire with the guys… The girls and the parents wanted to stay inside. Their loss. I was blessed with my little sister shoving s’more up my nose… And of course we talked about guns, because how could we not? This led to the requirements to date one of my friends, as determined by her dad and brother. They think this should apply to me too…
- be able to do 100 push-ups
- be able to take 4 shots and have 4 hits in a 4 circle radius with a 30 yacht 6 at 350 yards
- hit 3 silver dollars with 3 shots at 1000 yards with a 12x scope on a 30 yacht 6
- beat her dad at arm wrestling
- beat her brother at full-body wrestling
- submit an application with questions like “What does keep your hands off my daughter mean to you?”
- pay the application fee of $500
- there’s a 3-5 year waiting period for application replies
I have determined that if my dad adopts this… I will start meeting marines…. Haha
Good luck gentleman